When it comes to asking questions of a potential sexual partner, one of the first you should pose is, "Do you practice safe sex?" There's no way of knowing how many partners a person's had, but more important than the number is whether protection -- namely condoms and dental dams -- was used during previous tango sessions.
Though it's fallen off the front page of newspapers in recent years, HIV infection rates are still high enough to cause plenty of worry. While some prior causes of infection, such as blood transfusions, mostly have been controlled, unprotected sex remains the top risk factor for contracting HIV, the disease that causes AIDS. Although HIV treatments have vastly improved over the years and extended the lives of those with the disease, more than 1 in 300 people have HIV in America
Other sexually transmitted diseases that receive even less notice, like chlamydia, still exist, and chlamydia's infection rate has actually climbed over the last decade
Just as important as asking your partner about safe-sex practices is asking yourself on a regular basis. It's easy to become less vigilant, especially if you don't expect to have sex or if alcohol is involved. Such momentary lapses in judgment can have lifelong consequences, such as disease or unwanted pregnancy.


2. Have You Been Tested for STDs?There are many exciting unknowns at the beginning of a relationship (or spontaneous sexual adventure), but the possible presence of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) isn't one of them. It isn't the sexiest topic to bring up before intercourse or courtship, but it's a very good idea to ask sexual partners if they've ever been tested for STDs.
Of course, you may not get the truth -- "Sure, I've been tested!" -- but while it may be uncomfortable to ask for written proof, it's more uncomfortable to wonder why it burns so badly when you urinate a month down the road.
If you're sexually active or have had unprotected sex in the past, you should treat yourself to a test as well, even if just to put your mind at ease. After all, it's entirely within the rights of a potential sexual partner to ask you if you've been tested recently, and you should be able to answer honestly, "Yes."

STD tests are easy to get (any health clinic offers them), but you have to seek them out. There's no all-inclusive STD test -- you'll have to get several different tests to cover the array of possibilities. But keep in mind that STDs don't always present symptoms right away, and you could have a disease that's wrecking your reproductive or overall health without knowing about it.

Plenty of married couples wonder if it's normal for our sex drives to decrease after we're married. In a word, yes. However, despite the number of married couples affected by this matter, there's not much in the way of statistics. And for every couple whose love life is languishing in the bedroom, there are just as many anecdotes of long-time lovebirds rocking it on a near-nightly basis.
It's natural for our sex drives to diminish as we age, regardless of our relationship status. The Kinsey Institute reports that half of couples don't have sex after age 65, but also that frequency of sex is a pretty solid indicator of a healthy marriage. Interestingly, the frequency (or likelihood) of extramarital affairs also drops as we get older
Surveys show that married people have more sex each year than their unmarried peers, and both groups show marked declines from ages 20 to 70 and older. But married 70-year-olds are still getting busy an average of 16 times a year, while their single friends have sex fewer than 10 times a year
So it's normal for your sex drive to decrease after you're married, just not right away. If that's the case, bring some spontaneity (or even planning and scheduling) into your sex life, or spice it up with new fantasies, locations, positions or role-playing.

If you're worried about the state of the economy, don't blame the pornography industry for not trying hard enough. In 2005, DVD and video sales alone raked in $1 billion for the adult entertainment industry in the U.S. That's not counting online revenues, where money and page views flow toward XXX Web sites, which make up more than 10 percent of all sites. And many who stay in hotel rooms take advantage of the access and perceived anonymity such a stay provides: One study by a hotel association found that 55 percent of all hotel guests watch pornographic content on the hotel TV.
It's perfectly normal for adults to look at pornography, and many happy couples make a practice (or experiment) of watching it together. If you discover -- or have kept silent about -- your partner's propensity for porn, rest assured that it's probably not a big deal. There are exceptions, of course. Illegal, underage or excessively graphic or violent pornography are clearly major issues.
You should be concerned about addiction if your partner spends so much time looking at pornography that it disrupts normal life, such as work and personal relationships. If pornography has replaced sex in your relationship, you and your partner may want to speak with a marriage counselor or sex therapist about it.

If sexual intercourse is uncomfortable for you, you're not alone: 30 percent of women report pain during their most recent intercourse. While the issue of pain during intercourse likely doesn't come up in conversation between women and their doctors, it should: For 10 percent of women, this pain is chronic. Some women experience pain during all sexual encounters, while others may suddenly have pain after having no previous problems. If intercourse is painful for you (especially if it produces bleeding), talk to your primary-care doctor, gynecologist or urologist as soon as you can.
There are many different causes for painful intercourse. Insufficient lubrication, yeast or bacterial infections, or endometriosis (the growth of uterine lining in other parts of the body) can cause pain, and inflammation of the urethra or thinning of the vaginal walls may be responsible.
Though you should consult with a doctor, you can take some steps to prevent pain during intercourse, including the following:

• Have more foreplay.
• Use lubricants.
• Avoid douching.
• Don't have vaginal intercourse if you don't want to.
• Don't have anal sex if you don't want to.
• Don't use any toys you don't want to use.
• Try to find a position that works best for you.

There's nothing like reproduction to put a damper on an otherwise healthy sexual relationship. For expectant mothers (and fathers), sexual intercourse may be the first or last thing on their minds.
Many parents-to-be worry whether it's OK to have sex during pregnancy. The general answer is, "Oh yeah." If the pregnancy is problem-free, you can have as much sex as you want. However, if there are any issues (such as bleeding or leaking, or an otherwise high-risk pregnancy), hold off on the nookie until you talk to your doctor.
One common concern is that sexual intercourse could cause miscarriage. If both mom-to-be and baby are healthy, it won't. Nor will sex trigger early labor, so there's no need to have a bag packed before engaging in foreplay.
Foremost on many worried minds is whether a woman's partner will have any contact with the developing baby while engaging in sex. Put your fears to rest, because the cervix effectively blocks off access to the womb, and the fetus has no awareness of what's happening.
A word of caution about receiving oral sex while you're pregnant -- if your partner blows air into your vagina, it could cause an air embolism, which is potentially fatal to the fetus or the mother. And while we're covering all the bases, don't engage in anal sex, because it could spread bacteria from the anus to the vagina.
For some women, sex seems like a lot of effort for little payoff. Orgasm is the peak of sexual experience, but some women may find they aren't ascending to those heights. It's not uncommon for women of all ages to have difficulty reaching orgasm, or never to have experienced one at all. An inability to have an orgasm can make a woman feel as if there's something wrong with her or her sexuality. As much focus as our culture puts on sex and orgasms, they're not always such an easy thing to achieve.
A lot goes on during orgasm: blood pressure increases, vaginal walls contract and the brain releases a flood of endorphins. One study using brain scans showed that large parts of women's brains "turned off" during orgasm.
Orgasms can result from any number of sexual activities, but some work better than others for individual women. A woman may have an orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris, the vagina or both. A search for the G-spot, which is located about two inches past the vaginal opening, on the vaginal wall facing the stomach, may produce orgasmic gold, though not all women seem to have this erogenous zone .
Women may want to try clitoral stimulation before, during or following other sexual activity, and this may be easier at first through masturbation. Sometimes, stress is the culprit, and practicing relaxation techniques could work wonders. Regardless of why you haven't achieved the Big O, with enthusiasm, exploration and dedication, you can learn what all the fuss is about.
From adolescence on, most men wonder at some point if their equipment is standard-issue, sub-standard or the potential subject of future folklore. But men shouldn't worry as much as they do: Women report that the preferred penis size of a lover is approximately 13 inches, which is about 1 inch smaller than the average male penis. Relax, pal, that was just a joke to make sure you were reading instead of measuring yourself.
The average penis is somewhere between 5 and 6 inches in length, and 5 inches in circumference. But sexual partners will prefer them how they prefer them, so there's nothing absolute when it comes to a preferred penis size. One study showed that the one thing women do seem to agree on is that men spend too much time worrying about the size of their penises. That said, many men are consumed with thoughts about length, while women are more concerned about width.
A penis that's too large might cause discomfort or problems when it comes to the mechanics of intercourse. One that's too small may not satisfy a particular person's desires, either. Regardless of your partner's preference, cleanliness, presentation (fake Groucho Marx glasses and mustache, anyone?), sexual attentiveness and imagination will get you far down the road.
Regardless of size, do the best with what you have, and take some time to study the Kama Sutra or other such guides to sex. And remember: There's someone out there for everyone.

It's the kind of problem some men only wish they had: delayed ejaculation. While it may sound like a nice change of pace to some guys, it's no blessing to those who experience this disorder.
Delayed ejaculation is less common than premature ejaculation, but it's still fairly common. Some men affected by this condition never (or extremely rarely) have orgasms. More often, it takes an hour or more of extreme thrusting to achieve orgasm, which may be accompanied by little or no ejaculate and a partner who needs aspirin.
Delayed ejaculation has many possible causes, some of which are physical and some that are psychological. If you repeatedly experience delayed ejaculation, consult with your doctor to start looking at possible physical causes.
Various diseases may lead to difficulty having orgasms -- diabetes, vascular disorders and vascular damage are a few culprits. Spinal injuries you've experienced in the past may also be at fault. Heavy use of alcohol, prescription drugs or street drugs can also result in delayed ejaculation. Even prescribed use of certain medications such as antidepressants can contribute to this condition.
If a doctor is unable to find a physical cause, make an appointment with a psychologist or sex therapist. Guilt, stress, emotional trauma and anxiety can all affect you in physical ways, and they certainly can when it comes to sexual performance.

Premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculation that happens before either partner is ready, and it may affect as many as 1 in 3 men over the course of their lifetimes. This may occur with minimal stimulation, before penetration or almost immediately after penetration. Keep in mind, though, that ejaculation that occurs after 2 to 10 minutes of intercourse is normal. Ejaculation that occurs between 2 and 10 seconds, though, can leave men feeling inadequate and their partners feeling unsatisfied.
Premature ejaculation can cause distress to you, your partner or your relationship. It may be the result of biological or psychological factors. Emotional trauma (especially related to sex), guilt about infidelity or other matters, fear of pregnancy or anxiety about performance can lead to premature ejaculation, as can erectile dysfunction or stress about it occurring.
Unbalanced hormone levels or an overabundance of neurotransmitters may be wreaking havoc on your sex life. Thyroid issues and genetics may be to blame for messing up your mojo.
One trick you and your partner can try is squeezing the tip of your penis for several seconds as you feel the urge to climax, then waiting 30 seconds and continuing. Repeat as many times as you desire. Some topical creams can reduce sensation, and antidepressants can also slow down ejaculation (a common side effect that, in this scenario, is the desired effect).

Adding a few heaping tablespoons of baking soda to cool bath water makes a sunburn-soothing remedy. Just keep your soaking time down to 15 to 20 minutes. If you soak any longer, you risk drying out your already lizard-like skin. When you've emerged from the bath, resist the urge to towel off. Instead air-dry, and don't wipe the baking soda off.
Oatmeal added to cool bathwater offers another wonderful relief for sunburned skin. Fill up the bathtub with cool water--not cold water because that can send the body into shock. Don't use bath salts, oils, or bubble bath. Instead, scoop 1/2 to 1 cup oatmeal -- an ideal skin soother -- and mix it in. Another option is to buy Aveeno, an oatmeal powder found in the pharmacy. Follow the packet's directions. As with the baking soda, air-dry your body and don't wipe the oatmeal off your skin.


The thick, gel-like juice of the aloe vera plant can take the sting and redness out of a sunburn. Aloe vera causes blood vessels to constrict. Luckily, this healing plant is available at your local nursery or even in the grocery store's floral department. Simply slit open one of the broad leaves and apply the gel directly to the burn. Apply five to six times per day for several days.

Soak a washcloth in cool water and apply it directly to the burned areas (do not apply ice or an ice pack to sunburned skin) for several minutes, rewetting the cloth often to keep it cool. Apply the compress multiple times throughout the day as needed to relieve discomfort. You can also add a soothing ingredient, such as baking soda or oatmeal, to the compress water. Simply shake a bit of baking soda into the water before soaking the cloth. Or wrap dry oatmeal in a cheesecloth or a piece of gauze and run water through it. Then toss out the oatmeal and soak the compress in the oatmeal water.

As the sun fried your skin, it also dehydrated it. Be sure to replenish liquids by drinking plenty of water while recovering from a sunburn. Being well hydrated will help burns heal better. You'll know you're hydrated when your urine runs almost clear.

Slipping into a tub of chilly water is a good way to cool the burn and ease the sting, especially if the burn is widespread or on a hard-to-reach area (such as your back). Avoid using soap, which can irritate and dry out the skin. If you feel you must use soap, use a mild one, such as Dove or Aveeno Bar, and rinse it off well. Definitely skip the washcloth, bath sponge, and loofah. Afterward, pat your skin gently with a soft towel. If you're tempted to linger in the tub for hours, skip the bath and take a cool shower, instead. Ironically, soaking too long can cause or aggravate dry skin, which can increase itching and peeling.

The sun dries out the skin's surface and causes cells and blood vessels to leak, causing even greater moisture loss. In addition, while cool baths and compresses can make you feel better, they can also end up robbing moisture from your injured skin. To prevent drying, apply moisturizer immediately after your soak. For cooling relief of pain and dryness, chill the moisturizer in the refrigerator before using.

The plain old potato makes for a wonderful pain reliever. It's a time-tested technique known throughout the world. Take two washed potatoes, cut them into small chunks, and place them in a blender or food processor. Blend or process until the potatoes are in liquid form. Add water if they look dry. Pat the burned areas with the pulverized potatoes. Wait until the potatoes dry, then take a cool shower. Another less messy method is to apply the mash to a clean gauze and place on the burn. Change the dressing every hour. Continue applying several times a day for a few days until the pain is relieved.

Sunburns often strike where skin meets bathing suit. Sensitive and hard-to-reach spots you've neglected to smear with suntan lotion (along bikini lines, underneath buttock cheeks, or around the breasts and armpits) often fall victim. These burn spots then have to face daily irritation from tight elastic in bras and underwear. To ease chafing, cover the burned area with a dusting of cornstarch. Don't apply petroleum jelly or oils, which can exacerbate the burn by blocking pores. If the burn is blistering, however, don't apply anything.

Topical anesthetics such as Solarcaine may offer some temporary relief from pain and itching. Look for products that contain lidocaine, which is less likely than some of the other topical anesthetics to cause an allergic reaction. Because some people do have allergic reactions to such products, test a small area of skin before using it all over. Topical anesthetics come in both creams and sprays. The sprays are easier to apply to a sunburn, especially when it is widespread. If you use one, avoid spraying it directly onto the face. Instead, spray some onto gauze and gently dab it on your face.

Nonprescription pain relievers such as aspirin and ibuprofen can relieve pain and cut the inflammation of a sunburn. Take with food as directed on the bottle, and discontinue use if you develop stomach upset. If you can't tolerate aspirin or ibuprofen, consider taking OTC acetaminophen, which can help ease pain but won't relieve inflammation. See this list of precautions to take when using over-the-counter analgesics.
No matter which home remedy solution you choose, remember the discomfort your sunburn has caused -- and next time, take precautions to avoid overexposure to the sun. Sunburn can be relieved naturally, but it is never good for the skin.